Rethinking Attachment Theory Through a Feminist and Cultural Lens
Where Attachment Theory Falls Short
Attachment theory has been deeply influential—but it’s not neutral.
Historically, it:
Centered white, Western, nuclear families
Overemphasized mothers as primary attachment figures
Underrecognized community, extended family, and cultural caregiving systems
Feminist and cultural critiques remind us that caregiving happens within systems—not in isolation.
The Problem With Mother‑Blame
Many people—especially women—carry shame rooted in attachment discourse that implies “failure” when children struggle.
A trauma‑informed, feminist approach asks:
What structural barriers shaped caregiving?
What support was missing?
What cultural norms were ignored?
Attachment patterns are shaped by context, not just caregivers.
Culture, Community, and Collective Attachment
In many cultures, attachment is distributed across:
Elders
Siblings
Community members
Chosen family
Western models often fail to account for this richness, especially for BIPOC, immigrant, and collectivist communities.
Power Dynamics in Therapy
Attachment‑informed therapy must also examine:
Therapist authority
Cultural humility
Structural oppression
Whose emotional expression is validated
Healing cannot happen in spaces that replicate power imbalances or ignore lived context.
A Feminist‑Relational Reframe
A relational, feminist approach sees attachment healing as:
Mutual, not hierarchical
Context‑aware, not individualizing
Strength‑based, not deficit‑focused
It asks not “What’s wrong with you?” but “What happened, and what support was missing?”