What to Expect in an EMDR Session
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a powerful, evidence-based therapy that has gained recognition for its effectiveness in treating trauma and other distressing life experiences. Although it might sound a bit technical or mysterious at first, EMDR is simply a therapeutic approach that helps people process and heal from difficult experiences. It’s especially impactful for women, who often face unique challenges such as interpersonal trauma, complex trauma, and birth trauma.
If you’ve heard about EMDR and are curious about what a session might look like, you’re not alone. Many women wonder what it feels like, how it works, and whether it can help with their specific concerns. In this blog, we’ll walk through what to expect in an EMDR session, explore why EMDR can be particularly helpful for women, and address some common questions and concerns.
What Is EMDR and How Does It Work?
EMDR therapy was developed in the late 1980s by psychologist Francine Shapiro. It’s based on the idea that our brains are naturally wired to heal from trauma, just as our bodies are. However, sometimes this healing process gets stuck, especially when the trauma is overwhelming or repeated. EMDR helps “unstick” the brain, allowing it to process and integrate traumatic memories properly.
The core of EMDR therapy involves engaging in a series of eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation (like tapping or auditory tones) while focusing on distressing memories or thoughts. This bilateral stimulation helps to reprocess the memories, making them feel less intense and reducing their emotional charge. Unlike traditional talk therapy, EMDR doesn’t require you to go into great detail about your traumatic experiences. Instead, it focuses on the way these memories are stored in your brain and body, helping to reduce their impact on your present-day life.
What Can EMDR Help With?
EMDR is widely recognized for its ability to help people process and heal from a variety of traumas, including:
- Interpersonal Trauma: Such as emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, betrayal, and relationship-related trauma.
- Complex Trauma: Trauma that happens repeatedly or over a long period, often in a close relationship, like childhood neglect or interpersonal violence.
- Developmental Trauma: Early life traumas that disrupt a child’s normal development, such as growing up in a chaotic, neglectful, or abusive environment.
- Acute Trauma: Single-incident traumas like car accidents, natural disasters, or sudden loss.
- Birth Trauma: Trauma related to childbirth, including difficult deliveries, emergency interventions, or feelings of loss of control during labor.
While trauma is a common focus, EMDR is not limited to those with PTSD. It’s also effective for anxiety, depression, phobias, panic attacks, grief, and low self-esteem. For women in particular, EMDR can address the layers of trauma that often stem from societal pressures, relational wounds, and the intersection of personal and cultural experiences.
Why EMDR Is Particularly Helpful for Women
Women often carry the weight of complex, interpersonal traumas that are deeply tied to societal norms, expectations, and personal relationships. Many women experience trauma that’s intertwined with gender-based violence, reproductive health, and caregiving roles. EMDR provides a compassionate, non-judgmental space to address these traumas without having to relive every painful detail.
The process helps women reconnect with their inner strength, reclaim their narratives, and find a sense of peace with past experiences. Whether it’s healing from a traumatic birth experience, processing childhood abuse, or finding relief from the daily microaggressions that women often endure, EMDR helps women let go of the self-blame and guilt that frequently accompanies trauma.
What to Expect During an EMDR Session
Your first EMDR session usually begins with a thorough assessment and history-taking. This step helps your therapist understand your unique experiences, identify your goals, and build a sense of safety and trust. EMDR is not a one-size-fits-all approach, and this initial phase allows your therapist to tailor the therapy to your specific needs.
1. The Preparation Phase: Building Safety and Trust
Before diving into any trauma work, your therapist will spend time helping you feel safe and grounded. This preparation phase is crucial; it’s where you learn coping skills and relaxation techniques that will support you throughout the EMDR process. You might learn breathing exercises, grounding techniques, or visualization skills to help you manage intense emotions if they come up during sessions.
Your therapist will also explain how EMDR works, answer any questions you have, and ensure you feel comfortable moving forward. This phase sets the foundation for the work ahead and helps establish a sense of partnership between you and your therapist.
2. Identifying Target Memories
Once you feel ready, your therapist will work with you to identify specific memories, thoughts, or beliefs that are linked to your distress. These “targets” can be a range of experiences, from vivid, traumatic memories to more subtle, negative beliefs about yourself, like “I am not enough” or “I am powerless.” The goal is not to relive these memories but to identify the core of what’s holding you back.
Your therapist will guide you through questions to understand the sensory details, emotions, and thoughts connected to these memories. For example, if the target memory is a difficult breakup, your therapist might ask you what images, feelings, or body sensations come up when you think about it.
3. Desensitization: Reprocessing the Memory
This is where the unique aspect of EMDR comes into play. While focusing on the identified target, your therapist will guide you through sets of bilateral stimulation. This could involve moving your eyes back and forth, tapping your hands, or listening to alternating tones in your headphones.
During this phase, you don’t need to talk much. You simply notice what comes up—thoughts, emotions, or physical sensations—and allow your brain to process naturally. It’s normal for memories to shift, change, or bring up new insights. Your therapist will periodically check in to see what’s coming up for you and adjust as needed.
The goal is not to erase the memory but to reduce its emotional charge so that it no longer feels as distressing or overwhelming. This phase can feel strange at first, but many people describe it as surprisingly gentle, almost like watching your thoughts from a distance rather than being engulfed by them.
4. Installation: Reinforcing Positive Beliefs
After the desensitization phase, your therapist will help you install a positive belief that resonates with you, such as “I am safe now” or “I am worthy of love.” This step reinforces the new, healthier neural pathways you’re creating, allowing you to integrate the gains from your session fully.
5. Body Scan: Checking for Residual Distress
Next, your therapist will guide you through a body scan, asking you to notice any remaining tension or discomfort. This step helps identify if there are still areas of unprocessed distress in your body. EMDR recognizes that trauma isn’t just stored in the mind; it lives in the body, too. Addressing these somatic experiences ensures a more complete healing process.
6. Closure and Next Steps
Every session ends with a closure phase, where your therapist helps you return to a calm, grounded state. You’ll review any new insights, discuss how you’re feeling, and ensure you’re not leaving the session feeling overwhelmed. Your therapist might assign coping strategies to practice between sessions to reinforce your progress.
Common Concerns About EMDR
It’s natural to feel nervous or unsure about trying EMDR, especially when you’ve already been through so much. Here are some common concerns and how EMDR addresses them:
- “I’m afraid I’ll feel overwhelmed.” EMDR is designed to be a gentle process. Your therapist will never push you faster than you’re ready to go, and the focus is always on maintaining your emotional safety.
- “I don’t want to relive my trauma.” Unlike some other therapeutic approaches, EMDR doesn’t require you to talk in detail about your traumatic experiences. You don’t have to describe every painful moment to heal from it.
- “What if I don’t remember everything?” You don’t need perfect recall for EMDR to be effective. The therapy works with whatever memories and feelings are accessible to you, and it can still help you heal even if the details are fuzzy.
- “Is EMDR just for big traumas?” Not at all. EMDR is effective for a wide range of concerns, including anxiety, depression, and negative self-beliefs, as well as trauma.
Taking Back The Present
An EMDR session is not about reliving your past but about reclaiming your present. It’s a therapy that respects your resilience and focuses on healing in a holistic, compassionate way. For women, EMDR offers a path to processing traumas that are often minimized or misunderstood—like birth trauma, relationship wounds, or the chronic stress of living in a society that can be hostile to our bodies and our voices.
If you’re considering EMDR, know that it’s a powerful tool for transformation. The process might feel unfamiliar at first, but it’s deeply grounded in your innate capacity to heal. Every session is a step towards releasing the weight of the past, embracing your present self, and reclaiming your future with clarity, strength, and self-compassion.